Monday, March 22, 2010

March Mania (I promise this will be better than the NCAA tournament)

Supposedly, this is March. And in some ways, I know that it is. But it just doesn't feel like it. Usually, I get excited about it. My birthday, the NCAA tournament, the NBA coming to the stretch run...things are supposed to be coming along.

However, it just doesn't FEEL like it's March for some reasons. And it is these reasons I am annoyed by.

Stuff About March
1. The NCAA tournament sucks.
2. The weather is absolute bullshit.
3. My birthday will happen.
4. There is baseball beginning to happen.
5. The Easter Bunny is at the mall.

Let's separate these into reasons that it obnoxiously DOES feel like March, and reasons that it. does not.


2. The weather is bullshit. Honestly, one day a couple weeks ago, it was 70 degrees. I went out that night and was comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans with no jacket anywhere near me. I promise, this happened. Do you know what happened two days later? It snowed. Swear to god, this is a fact. Also, two days ago, it was 60 degrees and gorgeous. Of course, as a result of this, I worked ALL DAY. Today? Today is my day off and it is 40 degrees and has been raining all day. Now, if it were gorgeous, would I be active outside? Probably not. But I would like to have that option.

4. I hate it. I am so fucking sick of all things baseball, that I could throw up all over myself as I type this. It is the single most boring sport ever. Will I go to a game in person? I don't know. Can I get loaded and have pizza and wings before it? Also, can I spend less than fifteen bucks on my seat? Do I have to drive? If the answers are, in order: yes, yes, and no...than yes I am in. Will I watch a game on television? Not unless I am suffering from insomnia or am pulling a Dimmesdale and punishing myself for something. I don't ever want to watch a baseball game on TV again...that's how much fuck baseball.

5. The Easter Bunny is always there, and I always wonder why. Do kids ask him for stuff? Isn't this why we have Santa? Also, it isn't even remotely believable that it is a real bunny. For real. At least with Santa, he is the size of a real person, looks like a real person, and IS A REAL PERSON! That "bunny"? Not even close. It's big, plastic, doughy eyes sort of stare at you blankly. Then, there's that weird seam between his neck and his do kids buy this? Are they THAT stupid? Also, the Easter Bunny was spotted smoking a menthol cigarette in the alley behind Harry Buffalo. Just sayin'.

Does Not

1. I used to enjoy the NCAA tournament. I used to get excited and throw a bunch of money away on brackets, call off of work on the first day of the tourney, and use it as an excuse to get loaded in the afternoon. Now? I hate it. The basketball is not high quality, the athletes--for the most part--are not high quality, and the announcing is ridiculous. And can we stop the charade that every team has a chance? They don't. A 16-seed has never beaten a 1-seed. Let alone win more than that game or a title. To hell with college sports. They are crap. Except BGSU women's basketball; those of you that know me, know why this is...can you blame me?

3. Evidently, I will be 25. Who knew? I feel old. Not OLDER than I was/am. Just OLD in general. I don't want gifts, I don't want a party, I don't even really want/need to use it as an excuse to get loaded. I think that being 25 means that you don't need a reason, or a defence for your desire to do so. I will have dinner with my parents and potentially my brother and grandmother. I will enjoy a great meal and my family's company, and really, what more do you need from a birthday? I had a girl ask me recently, "What are you gonna get for your birthday?" What? I don't know. Nothing? And that's fine. All I really need is jeans and boxers. Maybe a t-shirt. Am I concerned? No. The one disconcerting thing here is that I used get AMPED for birthdays. Old sucks. And the real bad part? I am only getting older.

I don't mean to sound like I'm being bitchy. It isn't that March has been terrible. Not for me at least. How about all of you?

Here's to April bringing better weather, better basketball, and of course, the NFL Draft.


Life at the Funny Farm said...

Since my Chinese is a little rusty, maybe you can translate the above comment...?

I am not really a fan of March, as I work at a CPA firm for my day job, and we are living the insanity that is the last 6 weeks of tax season. Everyone is growly, grumpy, irritated, and impatient. And that's on a good day. We LIVE for April 16th.

As for other March things, I never gave a damn about the NCAA tournament as I don't follow college sports of any kind, and every time I ever heard about this tournament, the winner was Duke. Some other school has probably won this at some point in time, but in my mind it's always Duke. Who cares about Duke?

I agree with your Easter Bunny in the mall assessment as well. Really big ICK. I'm all about the Peeps and Cadbury chocolate, and fortunately I don't have to go anywhere near a mall or overgrown rabbit to get those.

Our March weather is pretty darn nice, but then that's why I live in southern California, so I can't bitch about that. March doesn't mean my birthday, but April does, so March is just the "waiting period" before the birthday happens. And let's just say that I am "somewhat" older than 25, so stop bitching about being 25 and feeling old. At some point you would kill to be 25 again, so enjoy it while you can.

Tiana said...

Happy Birthday...?

Those of us with weird between-season birthday months really got the short end of the stick (just realized what a strange phrase that is--anyway, we got screwed). I was born in November, my brother in May, and I was SO JEALOUS that the lucky bastard could have awesome outdoor birthday parties. It was almost without fail windy and/or rainy and cold when mine came around. Did you experience this? I am still a little bitter about it.

My word verification thing for this comment is "bhoons." I like word verification.

Nance said...

Sigh. I deleted the goofy ??? comment. Why are we plagued with this commenter?

Anyway. LAFF--I remember those days when the NCAA brackets were always stuffed with Duke and Georgetown. BORING. Never went to either of those schools, and I still don't understand people getting all excited about college sports IF THEY DIDN'T ATTEND THOSE COLLEGES. WHO. CARES.
But I'm with you--SO with you--about Peeps and Cadbury. Did you see that now you can buy chocolate-covered Peeps? I want it to go ON RECORD that I was dipping Peeps in melted chocolate DECADES ago. And, now Cadbury Creme Eggs come in ORANGE CREME. I am so thrilled. (I know. How Sad.)

Tiana--My birthday is in May. It is early in May, so it is not always lovely, but I await lilacs with great anticipation.

Jared(author of this long last!!)--It is telling that you have done A MARCH POST at the END of the month. All I'm saying. Anyway, we had a nice dinner out, you got your birthday cherry pie, and we will go shopping together for a suitable pair of jeans. There may even be BOXER SHORTS. I reserve the right to choose a nice teeshirt, although I may just REWRAP THE MOOSE SHIRT THAT YOU HAVE YET TO WEAR AND IT HAS BEEN 4 YEARS. All I'm saying.

Nina said...

I agree, the weather has been beyond bad. But today is April 1 and it's going to be in the 70's. So here's to hoping, cheers!

And just for the record, MY KID is not that stupid. He wouldn't go within 10 feet of that crazy looking mall easter bunny. The look on his face was priceless!

Life at the Funny Farm said...

One more note in the Peeps department. Did you see the Washington Post's Peeps Diorama contest results? Cutest. Thing. EVER.


I don't know if the link will work here, but if not, just Google it.

Together We Save said...

Hope you have a great birthday!!

Life at the Funny Farm said...

Did I not call it? Duke. Won. Again. Sigh...


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