Stop saying that. Do you know how you sound?
As my friend would say, "You sound uneducated, homey. You're better than that. Be real."
I am sick of hearing people say some things. Not because they are cliche or tired or whatever, but because they are redundant or just plain careless. They make no sense. Here is my list of things that people say without realizing they are sounding like idiots. If you say any of these things, I apologize if I offend you, but see my friend's quote for guidance.
Stuff I Am Sick Of Hearing
1. PIN number.
2. Young kids.
3. I could care less.
4. Small little.
5. Little baby.
Why does it infuriate me? Oh, you KNOW I have my reasons.
1. PIN = Personal Identification Number. Get with it. When someone says PIN Number, he is really saying personal identification number number. See? Now, doesn't that seem ridiculous? How do you get one? Do you have to go to the Department Of Redundancy Department to fill out an application for an application? I am confused. Let's just say PIN and end it. Good? Deal? Excellent.
2. All. Kids. Are. Young. That is the definition of kid. Young person. Young young person is just verbal tomfoolery. It's adjective overkill, really. Nobody says Old Senior Citizen. I don't ask for much, really. I just don't need you to spell it out for me that the young person is, indeed, young. Just assume that I am smart enough to detect his or age on my own. Thanks.
3. The expression is that you "COULDN'T care less." If you COULD care less, then just do everyone a favor and care a little less. There is a good chance that if you are even talking about it, you do care about it a little bit. So either you literally COULD care less, or you COULD NOT care less and are not communicating effectively. This one really fires me up. "I could care less if he wants to go out with her." Awesome. Then go on. You care less! Just make up your mind and communicate it to me like an adult.
4. Someone told me the other day that she had a "small little charm" that goes on her necklace. Well, now I can certainly rest a little easier. I mean, I was worried that the charm might have been small big. Or worse yet, the dreaded large little. I hate that. Am I making sense to you right now? I hope that I am preaching to the small little choir that we have here at Stuff.
5. BREAKING NEWS: Relatively speaking, all babies are little. My friend West doesn't have huge hulking beasts for children. He has babies. They are, like most babies, little. When people say "little baby" I like to think about the opposite of that. Big baby. The delivery room would be a hilarious place on that one wouldn't it? "I see the head. OK, one more big push. WOW! Congratulations folks, it's a beautiful six-foot, 200-pound baby!" All babies are little. Get with it. Please?
Am I being picky? Maybe. Am I being unreasonable? God, I hope not. Because if it is unreasonable to expect people to speak effectively and like adults, I am not long for this world. Blame it on my mother. Despite our sometimes vulgar speech patterns, we do our best not to sound like morons and to hold people to a certain standard. For as long as I can remember, I have been correcting--sometimes, only in my head--people's speech habits in the hope that one day, it will matter. Heretofore (what a fantastic word that is!) it has been largely ineffective.
So what gets you going? What makes your brow furrow and your skin crawl when your friends, family, or co-workers make an attempt at the English language? Do share. You can do that by entering your username name and typing in your password word. From there, leave a small little comment. But please, if you are going to comment like young kids, or whine like little babies, don't bother. Because frankly, I could care less.
And no, surprisingly I did NOT burst into flames when I typed that last paragraph.
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JPD
9 comments:
Jared - I agree with you on most of your comments. I do, however, have to disagree on the little baby, big baby issue. Obviously, being male, you have not had the experience of birthing a little baby versus a big baby. My son was 10 lbs., 5 1/2 oz., 22" long and had a head that was 14" around. Most women would agree...holy crap,that is a "BIG" baby! In comparison, if someone held up their 6 or 7 lb. baby next to mine, you would describe that baby as a little baby. See my point?
irregardless
must I explain?
i understand that some babies are bigger than other. however, my point is that relative to people as a whole, and not exclusive to babies, their size is ALWAYS small. there are no exceptions. put that ten pound kid next to any other human being and the baby is...little. im sorry, but this is not something i am willing to bend on.
and no, you needn't explain abuot irregardless. drives me insane. next time someone says it to me, im not going to ask any questions, im just going to start punching people.
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jpd
I completely agree with you on 1, 3 and 4; however, there are older kids and there are bigger babies. If someone is trying to specify that younger kids do things that older kids don't, it's fair use. Or if the baby was particularly small, it would be okay. Otherwise it's redundant and I agree with you.
We are grammar Nazis at our house.
Living here in Los Angeles, we have The La Brea Tar Pits (local museum). If you know any Spanish, it would translate to "The The Tar Tar Pits". My daughter and I can hardly stand that one.
I agree on the "could care less" issue. Do you not listen to yourself when speaking? And don't get us started on irregardless.
My daughter's favorite is the ads at convenience stores when selling soda. She goes ballistic when she sees an ad for 1 liters bottle of Coke. Living in a melting pot city, we see these examples of slaughtered English all the time. You have our complete sympathy on your pet peeves.
I feel like I've said this before someplace, either here or over at the Dept., but in any case, I'm saying them, so there! When it comes to redundancy, these frost my cupcakes:
1. hamburger meat
2. ink pen
3. tuna fish
ALL OF THESE ARE IDIOTIC AND SOUND BACKWOODS AND STUPID.
When it comes to idioms that are misspoken, these make me cringe:
1. butt naked
2. intensive purposes
3. supposably
KILL ME NOW. THEY ARE ACTUALLY:
buck naked, intents and purposes, supposedly.
Finally, will someone PLEASE make a national announcement as to the proper meaning of "mano a mano?" IT DOES NOT MEAN "ONE ON ONE." Sigh. It means "hand to hand."
Really, sometimes I feel like a Proper English Terrorist.
My students use the word "bogush". Not only is it a mispronunciation of the word "bogus", meaning fake or false, but they use it completely wrong. The way they use it, it means something like "bullshit", or as a means of complaining that something is unfair. Ugh.
Improper use of apostrophes is going to send me to an early grave.
When people say things like "Return the forms to Mr. Jones or myself." The only person who can do something to yourSELF is YOURSELF.
Sherbet, not sherbert.
ICED tea, not ice tea.
And, the piece de resistance, is disorientate or the variation, disorientated. When did that happen? We added a syllable to disorient?
How about "I would of" instead of "I would have"? Yikes, that one always scares me.
Have to agree with Mrs. T on the "myself" one ... that makes me crazy. Educated people say it all the time. Horrid. I prefer sherbet, but I actually looked that one up the other day and both are correct. Of course, I kind of feel like the dictionary is even selling out these days ... pretty much any variation that gets used goes in the dictionary, so who knows? Apostrophes ... if the whole world could learn that "its" the possessive pronoun does not have an apostrophe because it's not a contraction, I'd be happy ... well, at least for a little while. ;-)
A lot of my pet peeves relate to mispronunciation, as in extra syllables added to realty (and realtor) and masonry. It's like someone scraping their fingers on a chalkboard when I hear them.
Shirley
The word irony being used inappropriately.
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