(box reads: wine of the month club)This comic strip is about the only humorous thing I've seen (or heard) regarding The Big Economic Bailout. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing it bandied about in the news, in conversation, on the radio, damn near everyplace.
In the spirit of this strip, here's what would be inside
My Stimulus Package
1. Champagne
2. "The Last of the Mohicans" and "The Age of Innocence" starring Daniel Day-Lewis
3. Steamed Lobster and Drawn Butter
4. 80-degree Weather
5. A Ban On Cellphones
Obviously, no explanation necessary.
6 comments:
I really think the media plays such a large role in our we behave. Doom and gloom in the media begets more doom and gloom in real life.
Not in any particular order, but my package would include:
1. Fine chocolate (I actually won a box of divine chocolate from posting on Cathy's blog, noblepig.com. I got the word on V Day. I'm waiting for its arrival--woohoo!)
2. Steamed crabs (another reason to look forward to warm weather)
3. Travel of some sort (and spending money to go with it)
4. Weather warm enough to wear short sleeves and go camping on our mtn property, but not warm enough to require AC (I hate when we have to use the AC)
5. A self-cleaning house (a girl can dream ...)
6. A job for my son (just enough for him to have some spending money during college ... mom and dad's coffers are not as full as they used to be)
Shirley
Shirley--I hear you. I tried to be pretty realistic, or I would have stuck a world cruise in there, maid service, etc. And boy, do I hear you on #6. I have 2 sons who could use gainful employment right now, and I bet we aren't alone.
1. A boyfriend who likes to pamper me, just a wee bit. I've gone on a few dates with a guy who took me out to a nice dinner the other evening, which would have been great if he hadn't been thirty minutes late after having blown me off the week before. I don't want Mr. Moneybags - just someone who's as happy as I am to foot the bill every other time. I paid for first dates when I was unemployed. Get a clue, stupid boys!
2. A good grocery store closer to my house. The nearest one is a mile and a half a way down a hill, which means I have to carry groceries up the hill. I don't have the energy to make fabulous meals (like the gobi masala and garlic naan I made from scratch yesterday) if I have to carry groceries uphill fifteen miles in the snow in both directions.
3. A slightly higher metabolism. I'm trying to get into shape, but that little boost would do wonders.
4. Full-time status at my job. Damn, would it be nice to have enough money to move into the city and not have to wake up at 6:15 AM for my 8:00 AM classes.
5. A maid. I said it. Five minutes of tidying up a day would keep my room in excellent condition, but I just don't put in the effort until it snowballs into a state of national emergency.
i enjoy this list but i do have one problem.
80 degrees is tropical and unreasonable and YOU will still need a blanket. just sayin'.
champagne is solid. but make mine a g&g (gin and gin, fuck tonic)and skip those films and get me the sound of music and bull durham.
--
jpd
jpd--oh, always such the charmer, aren't you? i'm no prude, and i can curse with the best of them, but i do tone it down in the blogs.
mikey--1. i would object most strenuously to the tardiness. no excuse for that.
2. snow? in california? surely you're exaggerating.
5. this is a perpetual wish of mine, but i am the type that would tidy up for a maid. ridiculous.
I was joking about the snow. You know how grandfathers always talk about walking to school fifteen miles, uphill in each direction, without shoes? Yeah. No snow around here, but there is some three hours away near Tahoe.
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