You kill me, Women. And no, this isn't some sort of bashing or bitching about women in any way shape or form. I am, and my mother can attest to this, basically a flaming feminist. If I had a brassiere, I would burn it twice. Every election, I find candidates that most closely follow my own liberal philosophies regarding what I call My Big Three: Education, Women's Rights, and Foreign Policy. Also, diction.
Now that we have our disclaimer, here is, without further ado, and hopefully not many more commas, The Top Five Things Women Do Without Realizing It That KILL Me. In a Good Way.
1. The way Women look up from their menu when they order at dinner.
2. The way Women always look their best with a good pair of jeans and a solid sweater.
3. When Women sit on their leg in the passenger seat of my car.
4. Any time a Woman holds a purse down at her side by the straps instead of up on her shoulder.
Now that we have our disclaimer, here is, without further ado, and hopefully not many more commas, The Top Five Things Women Do Without Realizing It That KILL Me. In a Good Way.
1. The way Women look up from their menu when they order at dinner.
2. The way Women always look their best with a good pair of jeans and a solid sweater.
3. When Women sit on their leg in the passenger seat of my car.
4. Any time a Woman holds a purse down at her side by the straps instead of up on her shoulder.
5. When Women hum songs in the car like they forget that I'm there.
Now I shall explain.
1. It's always the same. They look up at the server with this slight tilt of the head and out of the corner of their eyes with a slight grin and looking back down at the menu AS they order food. It's like they are afraid they are the only ones that have ever ordered that before, but not in an arrogant way. This is especially cute when it's a drink order. Kills me.
2. This is a fact. Dresses? Eh. Skimpy stuff? No, but thank you, though. Just throw on a nice pair of jeans that fit the right way and a good solid sweater. That's all I need. And men, if you are lucky enough to witness the Cell Phone In The Back Pocket Move, just stop there. Doesn't get any better. And it isn't something sexual. It's more of a Cute Don't See It Very Often Thing.
3. THEY FIT! Comfortably! It's incredible. I don't get it. The best thing about this? Is that it demonstrates a comfort level. Not like physical comfort, but environmental comfort.
4. I think this demonstrates a level of confidence. The arms are not close to her body and that opens up body language; that's a good thing. Also, I think it demonstrates a lack of need for material things. Sometimes, a purse can hold important things and stuff like that. Not needing to have THINGS close to her, is, I think, something that can be rare.
5. This is like the leg sitting thing. Comfort is key. I am a comfort junkie. And I don't think I've ever heard a woman hum a song poorly. It's like it's some innate Lost Darwinian Adaptation. Whether I like a song or not, I always like a song when a good-looking woman is comfortable enough to hum it in the vehicle.
I don't know how many male readers we have here at Stuff, but if you're out there, let me know what makes your list. Ladies, feel free to do the same about men. Or women, if that's your thing. Hell, guys, what makes your list about other guys? We are all-inclusive, equal opportunity, and tolerant here at Stuff.
Now I shall explain.
1. It's always the same. They look up at the server with this slight tilt of the head and out of the corner of their eyes with a slight grin and looking back down at the menu AS they order food. It's like they are afraid they are the only ones that have ever ordered that before, but not in an arrogant way. This is especially cute when it's a drink order. Kills me.
2. This is a fact. Dresses? Eh. Skimpy stuff? No, but thank you, though. Just throw on a nice pair of jeans that fit the right way and a good solid sweater. That's all I need. And men, if you are lucky enough to witness the Cell Phone In The Back Pocket Move, just stop there. Doesn't get any better. And it isn't something sexual. It's more of a Cute Don't See It Very Often Thing.
3. THEY FIT! Comfortably! It's incredible. I don't get it. The best thing about this? Is that it demonstrates a comfort level. Not like physical comfort, but environmental comfort.
4. I think this demonstrates a level of confidence. The arms are not close to her body and that opens up body language; that's a good thing. Also, I think it demonstrates a lack of need for material things. Sometimes, a purse can hold important things and stuff like that. Not needing to have THINGS close to her, is, I think, something that can be rare.
5. This is like the leg sitting thing. Comfort is key. I am a comfort junkie. And I don't think I've ever heard a woman hum a song poorly. It's like it's some innate Lost Darwinian Adaptation. Whether I like a song or not, I always like a song when a good-looking woman is comfortable enough to hum it in the vehicle.
I don't know how many male readers we have here at Stuff, but if you're out there, let me know what makes your list. Ladies, feel free to do the same about men. Or women, if that's your thing. Hell, guys, what makes your list about other guys? We are all-inclusive, equal opportunity, and tolerant here at Stuff.
1 comment:
I was raised by a feminist and though I am a housewife, I still have those feminist leanings in me. I am old and when I have to walk, it is hard for me to look sexy with those jeans on but I try. I notice what you said about women ordering. I hate the ones that order a salad and expect you to do the same cause they want you to have that perfect figure you had when you were 20.
I had a great figure then but alot of years have passed and I feel I have earned the right to order what I want without worrying about calories. I like me and so does the man I married.
I like dresses but if a woman wants to wear jeans, fine by me. I think women should stop worrying about what other women think when they get dressed.
My daughter would always ask, 'Do I look nice.' I would say, 'Look in the mirror. If you think that outfit looks nice on you then wear.'
But she did always look nice. *s*
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