Man, this stuff is just killer. I don't care who you are. There's no way to make any of this crap interesting.
Stuff That Bores The Hell Out Of Me
1. Looking At Pictures Of People I Don't Know
2. Taking A Shower
3. Poker On TV
4. Being Sick
5. Attending A Shower
Okay. At the risk of landing on your list, here's a rundown:
1. This happens to me constantly as a teacher. Kids come up to me with prom pictures, random family pictures, wedding pictures, amusement park pictures, you get the idea. I don't mind if I see a representative sample of say, six photos if they are in them. But you'd be amazed at the number of times I am forced to see entire albums of pictures of random relatives, babies of cousins, or extraneous chums whom I've never met and never will. Why on earth do I care? I. Don't.
2. This is horridly tedious. And strenuous. I prefer baths in which one can lie down luxuriously, take 45 minutes, read a book, have perhaps a candle or two alight, and relax. Showers seem to take forever, are a mundane routine that tire me, and are noisy.
3. Seriously, cards? And the players, in order to be any good, dare not show any emotion whatsoever. Some even wear dark or mirrored glasses. Many are extremely unattractive. There is no action. People hold and then lay down cards. Come. On.
4. I have now been unwell for several days. It sucks. It goes beyond suffering from intense malaise. People are trying very hard to help. They cannot. Sigh. I am getting tired of lying around, lacking energy, feeling crappy and uncomfortable. Blech.
5. Why do women persist in having these awful ordeals? No one likes them. No one. The games are stupid, the whole point for them is really blatantly mercenary and everyone knows it, so why not just send out a Request for a Gift? That's all they are. I understand that most New Brides and New Mommies really do need things. So just cut to the chase and stop making all of us feel doubly obligated: both to give up an afternoon and to buy a gift? Just send us a little card that tells us where you are registered and when you're due or getting married. I know I'd feel Let Off The Hook. Ladies, are you with me?
Sigh. Stifle a yawn and tell us what bores you.
17 comments:
1. Yes. The worst part is having to gush over how cool the pics are.
2. I'm too lazy to bother with a bath, probably because I hate scrubbing out the bathtub. Which is why I like to take baths in hotels.
3. I suppose poker fans like watching it. Or not.
4. That sucks. Get well! (Sending you a nice cup of cyber tea.)
5. Oh, boy. With you there. Wrote about it on my old blog, which is still rolling around cyberspace:
http://tinyurl.com/2xp2rg
Ortizzle--I read your post. It was great and makes me miss your other blog. What happened to it? Anyway...
1. I've learned that when kids approach me with pix, I say, "Wait. are you in these? If not, I don't have time to see them. If you are, pick out 5 of the best." They are so flabbergasted that they automatically comply and don't say anything.
2. Sometimes, Rick will do it. otherwise, still worth it.
3. then they are stupid.
4. thanks, but can i have booze instead?
5. how can i get around the RSVP without being a bad person who doesn't RSVP (HATE THEM) or a liar?
My other blog disappeared off the map while I was on sabbatical (probably because the person hosting was fed up with me and didn't feel like telling me I had to pay up again to renew the dot com. I'm thinking of giving the old one a face lift and picking up the pieces again when school is out.)
Booze, eh? Have yourself a nice little tipple, then.
My way of getting around the RSVP (especially if it's one of those invites from people who really are looking for another present to grace the gift table), is to simply send my regrets, I had a "previous engagement", so sorry I will miss it, but I'll be sending a little gift through the online registry. If it's a close friend/ relative, then it's harder to get out of. Make up a school function or conference you must attend. I dunno...
how bout this?:
1. bowel movements.
2. shaving.
3. the boston marathon on tv.
4. driving to bgsu.
5. driving back from bgsu.
also, women have showers to perpetuate one of my 5 theories about women. which will be unveiled in a blog.
1. Waiting for the cable/telephone guy to show up. Expanded to waiting for anything of that nature--a delivery, repair guy, etc.
2. Talking to a certain bartender at work. Her stories are just NOT THAT INTERESTING.
3. Work on Monday nights. It is so slow and tedious. I'm thankful that I'm supervising the shift and not serving on it!
I can't think of anything else. I'll be attending a baby shower this weekend, I think, and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'd much rather give my gift to the dad (who is my friend) rather than go to the shower and give it to the mom (who I don't really know). Oh well. Suffice it to say I will not be hosting any of my own showers--if someone wants me to have one, they'll be doing the work!
jenomena--i hate waiting around, too, but if you're at home, at least you have stuff to do. waiting at a doctor's office--and mine, sad to say, is a notorious republican who blasts faux news--is the worst.
jpd--i hate shaving,too. all you have is A face. we have 2 armpits and 2 legs. and do not get me started...nevermind.
ortizzle--i should have been clearer--i meant the TELEPHONE rsvp. that one is horrid.
I like showers. Both kinds. But not with games. Both kinds.
I don't mind showers. I like them. I enjoy a good bath but I can never stay in as long as I think I might want to, I get too hot.
Showers. Fuck Showers. I hate them. I hated having to go to my own baby shower...WE DID NOT PLAY GAMES. I have to go to a wedding shower this weekend. It's bullshit. They already live together and have a baby. What can they possibly need?!
I don't have my own list. I'm sure that there are lots of boring things I have to do but my mind is fuzzy at the moment.
Hope you're feeling better.
Can't wait for JPD's theories about women. That will be interesting, I'm sure. To say the least!
ooo, I forgot about waiting at the doctor! I almost always try to take a book with me to alleviate that boredom!
jenomena--even if i have a book to read, i still resent the amount of time i have to wait. but at least i'm not bored. just pissed.
nina--i feel a little better, thanks. and i get you about the faux wedding shower. it's an insult, really.
V--welcome to Stuff. i hate watching sports if the teams are ones i have no reason to root for. i mean, why bother watching then? and i know people who watch endless weather channel. i don't get it.
v-grrrl--i've never gone to a bridal/baby shower and not had the game component be a part of it. i want to hang out in your world. sigh.
1. I'd look at even a whole album of photos if it was someone's travel photos. People pics are almost always awful though--poorly taken, boring shots, etc.
2. I LOVE showers and hate baths. Baths are boring to me. There are a zillion things I'd rather do than take a bath. Plus, you have to sit in the water you've cleaned yourself with and washing your hair is a real pain.
3. Poker--totally stupid and boring on TV.
4. Being sick is boring unless you are not too sick. My boss just came back to work after hernia surgery. It was supposed to be laparascopy, but things didn't work out and she had to have the traditional surgery. She was back at work a week later. Me, I'd be home catching up on reading, web stuff, etc., while I recovered.
5. Showers are great for the gifts part for the honoree, potentially good food, and wishing well an honoree you care about. Otherwise, they tend to be painful. Games are the worst. There was a new (to me) obnoxious game played at my SIL's baby shower a few months ago. I have declined showers with the "I have plans" reply. My plans might be to sit on the sofa ... so what.
What bores me ...
Hearing hubby tell me over and over again about his upcoming dive trip. He starts months in advance and continues until the day he leaves for the trip. (I love the man, but I have to fight my eyes rolling back in my head.)
Hearing people tell the same stories over and over again or repeatedly use the same phrases that they think are funny (and are not).
Anything related to NASCAR. (Just shoot me now.)
Shopping. Only shopping in unique stores while on vacation can be interesting.
Shirley
Shirley--Lots of people say that thing about baths: that you sit in your own dirty water. I lounge around in my bath and wash up at the last minute, so I don't sit in "dirty water" for more than a couple of minutes. Besides, how filthy are you if you regularly bathe/shower? If I'm real sweaty or dirty, like after yard work or something, I'll shower. Bathing is different. And I wash my hair in the morning solo. In the kitchen sink. No biggie. Worth it for a loungy bath.
You are totally right about the being sick if you are not TOO sick. If I'm home with something really minor, like the leftovers of a weekend illness, I can dig being home. I can relax in jammies, take time making dinner, futz around in the Interwebs, etc.
And...I also hate shopping except for shoes. Does this surprise you?
Nance--We're going to have to "agree to disagree" on the bath ... all those things set aside, a bath still bores me out of my everloving mind. I have a million zillion things I'd rather do than take a bath. Does not relax me one bit.
No surprise on the shopping at all. ;-)
Shirley
I agree with all except taking a shower. I hate the process of getting ready to take a shower, undressing, gathering shampoo & other products, deciding what to wear after the shower, but once I am in the shower, I hate getting out.
If someone posts photos of their kids or family on a blog, I almost never comment, because all I have to say would be, "Your children aren't as cute to me as they are to you."
I absolutely hate baby/bridal showers, so I politely decline with some excuse or other, but I send a gift. The giftee gets what she wants, i get what i want ---works for us both.
What bores me? Not much. I find so many things fascinating. Only if I am stuck somewhere and can't leave am I bored. But even then, I usually have a book with me or I write stories in my head about the other people who are waiting. Sometimes I call the receptionist from my car to see if appointments are running on time. If not I say I'll be in my car (listening to an audio book or taking a mini-nap) and to call my cell a few minutes before the doctor/dentist is ready for me. That doesn't work in a busy hectic office because the receptionist will forget. But in a slower-paced place, it works well.
Sorry, but you forgot the most boring thing in the universe, which is: graduation exercises. Apparently when people are asked to speak at graduation exercises, they forget how painfully bored they have been when attending graduation exercises, and they all go on and on about the past and the future and blah blah blah. What's more, graduation exercises all seem to feature multiple speakers, so you can hear the same blather repeated in different voices. All they really need to do at a graduation is hand out any awards and the diplomas, clap clap clap, you're free to go.
Elise--How, oh HOW I WISH high school graduation was boring. But these days at high school grads, it is anything but. When they go up and get their diplomas, anything can happen. They run and do cartwheels, lay down and kick, go get their babies from the boyfriend or girlfriend in the audience, yank out a squirtgun and spray someone; you name it. I would LOVE FOR IT TO BE BORING. Those reasons--ALL OF WHICH HAVE HAPPENED AT THE HIGH SCHOOL I TEACH AT, BTW--are why I no longer attend graduation.
Thanks Nance. You give me hope for my daughter['s graduation next week.
Post a Comment